I’m going to confess this secret now…
I hold a certain grudge towards 2016…
No offense towards the ones who’s 2016 was amazing, because mine was full of certain closures that I was looking forward to, and on the middle of the mess categorized as 2016, I got my college degree (with university expenses all covered by me), my university contacted me and said that because of my grades I won my graduation ring, I took big decisions and learned a big lesson (I feel those last two can be a separate post).
Maybe you read this and think that I’m crazy by thinking bad of 2016 if all these great things have happened, but I won’t get into detail about the negative aspects because therapy is expensive and I can’t afford to get into a deep depression right now.
Long story short, all the hardships last year are the reason why I’m glad its finally over. Most of them were unnecessary, some of them I faced alone and there were some cruel realizations along the way. I won’t say I hate 2016, because it made me stronger, and I really needed that.
Which brings me to 2017! it was been such a crazy year on the best way possible. You know all those crazy things we daydream every day, that is not absurd but a hard to achieve? yes, those have been coming to me in an avalanche of luck that I can’t stop to thank for and work hard to show how much I appreciate them in my life.
But despite all the blessings I’ve got in this short period of time, I can’t help to feel nervous and scared for what’s coming in the future. I feel terror only to think that things would come out the wrong way, or that I might do something to ruin my opportunities.
But if there’s something that 2016 taught me, is that no matter what, it’s better to jump into opportunities, because you never know what they can bring you, especially if those are things that get you one step closer to your dreams.
And that’s why, as afraid as I am, I’m not willing to step back or conform, because I know how wonderful it feels to do things right. And no nerves in this world would make me change that desire of having said feeling.